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Hey! Over There! The Parties Over HERE!

by maggiestiefvater@gmail.com (Maggie Stiefvater)
25 Apr 2007 at 11:11 pm
Hey - I thought I would give a shout to all of you who have subscribed to this blog recently - and I know you do, because I know everything. I've not posted on this blog for ages because I moved to greywarenart.blogspot.com. So I highly recommend you jaunt on over and visit me there! Thanks! ... read more

 

Yes, You ARE Late to the Party

by maggiestiefvater@gmail.com (Maggie Stiefvater)
20 Oct 2006 at 10:33 pm
Um, I know it seems like I've been quiet. But I haven't, actually. I've just not been talking here. For reasons too obvious to mention, I'm trying to incorporate my two blogs into one . . . so check it out at greywarenart.blogspot.com. And be sure to yell and scream if you don't like the idea.

I might say "too bad" or I might return to being funny here and artistic over there. Who knows? ... read more

 

Rebel Hearts in Recliners

by maggiestiefvater@gmail.com (Maggie Stiefvater)
27 Sep 2006 at 9:54 pm

"Augustine" - 11 x 14" colored pencil on paper.
Click here to buy.

Today I saw a huge motorcycle in the grocery store parking lot. Gleaming, red, chrome covered, imposing. C'mon, I saw Top Gun. I grew up in the 1980s. Of course I want a bike. Gimme a break! So it was with a general love of the species that I approached said motorcycle. To me, motorcycles embody a sense of rebellion, freedom, indepe ... read more

 

Art Boogers

by maggiestiefvater@gmail.com (Maggie Stiefvater)
18 Sep 2006 at 10:04 pm

"Three's a Crowd" - 2.5 x 3.5"
Click here to bid.

Tonight I would like to take you behind the scenes of art-making to the soft, unprotected underbelly that no one else sees. See, here's my secret. When I tell people that I'm going to go spend an hour creating art, I spend 15 minutes actually painting or drawing, and I spend the other 45 minutes doing an activity I believe some people refer to as "d ... read more

 

Home Buying for the Creative Person

by maggiestiefvater@gmail.com (Maggie Stiefvater)
12 Sep 2006 at 10:07 pm
Okay, for the record, it not "talking to yourself," it's "thinking out loud." Nor are my methods "crazy." I prefer "ingenuitive and ahead of their time." And finally, I was not giving that man in the Honda the finger, I was swatting a very small fly that didn't require all of my hand to squash.

I mean, as an artist and writer, I'm not that different from other people. I watch prime time TV (while p ... read more

 

More Power to You

by maggiestiefvater@gmail.com (Maggie Stiefvater)
31 Aug 2006 at 10:37 pm

"Untitled Work in Progress" - 8 x 22" pastel on illustration board.

Well, I'm now a "Powerseller" on eBay. I can already see the questioning/ disinterested look in your eyes. "What, dear Maggie, is a Powerseller?" "Does it mean you sell while swinging your arms vigorously to burn more calories?"

What it means is that I work too darn hard, that's what it means. It means I have now breathed more paste ... read more

 

Artificial Intelligence

by maggiestiefvater@gmail.com (Maggie Stiefvater)
30 Aug 2006 at 11:21 pm


"Guess Who?" - 2.5 x 3.5" colored pencil on drafting film
Click here to bid.


Okay, you know what I hate? I mean, other than bell peppers? Those stupid verification codes on online blogs and stuff like that. You know, you've entered all your personal data or your message (which took you years and years to write and was very meaningful), and then it says:

enter the verification code as you see it belo ... read more

 

Excuses, Excuses

by maggiestiefvater@gmail.com (Maggie Stiefvater)
26 Aug 2006 at 7:41 pm

"Shooting the Breeze" - 16 x 20" acrylic on canvas.
Click here to bid.

I know, I know, I’ve not been around. You’ve probably been wondering if I turned into one of those vacation statistics. You know, these bad boys:

902 shark attacks in the last century
676 boating fatalities in 2004
203 beaten to death by angry old Pittsburghers standing in line in 2005
9 cases of plague in the U.S. in 1999*

* I ... read more

 

Bon chance, mon ami!

by maggiestiefvater@gmail.com (Maggie Stiefvater)
4 Aug 2006 at 10:36 pm
Yeah, I took French in seventh grade. So sue me.

I'm off to Myrtle Beach in 11 hours, so I wanted to pop in to remind you all to behave while I was gone. Stay cool, don't listen to Daniel Powter, and practice safe cookie dough consumption.

When you next read my words, they'll have tan lines. ... read more

 

Gift Horses Have More Fun

by maggiestiefvater@gmail.com (Maggie Stiefvater)
3 Aug 2006 at 10:53 pm
So, lately I’ve been thinking of leasing a horse. Hey, stop laughing.

No really, stop.

In my day, which was about two years, five months ago, I used to ride horses rather a lot. English, if you please, over large jumps. And now that I’m an equestrian portrait artiste seeing all these horses makes me want to get back into it. So, as I said, I’m thinking of leasing a horse.

What’s the big deal, ... read more

 

Wrinkled Old Monkeys

by maggiestiefvater@gmail.com (Maggie Stiefvater)
30 Jul 2006 at 5:00 pm


"Earn Your Stripes" - 3.5 x 2.5" colored pencil.
Click here to bid.


So it is officially one week now until I head down to Myrtle Beach with the inlaws. My mother tells me helpfully: "when you're out on the beach, remember that in a month the tan will fade, but the wrinkles will stay forever."

As if I have ever sat on a beach and tanned my white hide in my life.

The truth is, I think I might be agains ... read more

 

The Hills & Valleys of . . .

by maggiestiefvater@gmail.com (Maggie Stiefvater)
19 Jul 2006 at 9:29 pm



"The Opposite of Patience" - 8 x 10" colored pencil
Click here to bid.


. . . my mattress. Gentle reader, I am sleep deprived. My wedding bed has become a wedding trench. My husband and I may start at opposite sides of the bed, but as sure as any bill coming out of Congress will support big business, by the middle of the night, we are seeing things eye to eye. And nose to nose. And elbow to breast b ... read more

 

Smirking

by maggiestiefvater@gmail.com (Maggie Stiefvater)
15 Jul 2006 at 9:03 pm

Okay, I know it's bad form. But I'm only here to brag. Yeah, that's right, I said it. You can leave now if you're offended my total swelled-headedness, but I have a feeling that now you're curious to know what I'm bragging about.

Ha! What if I don't tell you now? What if I just log off and leave you to melt into an oozing green puddle of anticipation? (Green, you ask? It's spinach, probably. Or aru ... read more

 

I'm Red, White, and Blue

by maggiestiefvater@gmail.com (Maggie Stiefvater)
2 Jul 2006 at 9:25 pm
"Niall" - 11 x 14" on Colorfix Paper -- click here to bid.

Well, today was another sizzling day at the horse show booth, and today I made the HA HA HA wise decision to wear shorts. Even under the protective shadow of my tent, my poor little pasty legs didn't stand a chance. Those suckers crisped nicely -- well, one did. My right leg somehow became something between vermillion and lobster and my lef ... read more

 

Boiled, Steamed, Fried

by maggiestiefvater@gmail.com (Maggie Stiefvater)
1 Jul 2006 at 10:17 pm

Does anyone here remember what the symptoms of heat stroke are? Let's see, can you pick them out of this list?

1) dizziness
2) headache
3) fatigue
4) incessant painting
5) hairy back

After attending the Fireworks Summer Spectacular Horse Show today as a vendor (see my snazzy booth above?), I have four out of five of the list, and let's just say that I'm not looking for any waxing or shaving products. It ... read more

 

Famous But Not Rich

by maggiestiefvater@gmail.com (Maggie Stiefvater)
30 Jun 2006 at 8:18 am
"Under a Golden Sun" - click here to bid

So, I'm mildly famous. Leastways, I've been interviewed: http://makingamark.blogspot.com/2006/06/maggie-stiefvater-two-of-everything.html, so that makes me sort of famous. A little bit. For some reason, when I was a kid, I thought that once you got famous, you got wealthy too. You know, the phrase is "rich and famous" not "canned tuna for lunch and dinner an ... read more

 

Are you an Artist, or is that Leprosy?

by maggiestiefvater@gmail.com (Maggie Stiefvater)
28 Jun 2006 at 8:30 pm
First three paintings in Carytown Series
Click on image or here to bid.

So now that I'm painting every day and using lots of different colors and all that, my hands are never soft and warmly golden with summer hues. They are now crusty and flecked with black, blue, and that gross color of green that I use to underpaint bricks. I mean, I wash my hands, but apparently not enough. So when I venture out ... read more

 

It's ALIVE!

by maggiestiefvater@gmail.com (Maggie Stiefvater)
25 Jun 2006 at 10:26 am
"Spot of Tea" - 5 x 7" on canvas panel.
Click here or on image to bid.


I found out yesterday that my CDs are breeding. I was shoveling through the stuff on top of my desk, most of which had gone native and put down roots, and I found a huge stack of CDs that I’d been carefully placing on top of each other whenever I swapped the music I was listening to.

Well, far be it from me to allow their little ... read more

 

Subliminal Messages

by maggiestiefvater@gmail.com (Maggie Stiefvater)
18 Jun 2006 at 4:37 pm
A short one here today, folks. Only two things to say at the moment:

1) I just found out from my web stats that someone found this blog by typing the words "torture chamber porn" into a search engine. If you are still reading, oh depraved reader, please accept my thanks for a very hearty 15 minutes of laughing. Okay, 10. Anyway, sorry about the lack of photos of naked folks in chains. Can I interes ... read more

 

Did Something Die, or is That Just Cheese I Smell?

by maggiestiefvater@gmail.com (Maggie Stiefvater)
9 Jun 2006 at 1:23 pm
"Stained Glass Stirling II" -- available on eBay this week

After a short episode with fire and blackened noodles (did you know that noodles catch fire if they land on a hot burner!? Huh!) I began to prepare the sauce. I sauteed my nice fresh broccoli, which as everyone knows is one of the least offensive of all vegetables, and cut up some of the cream cheese into it. Add a dollop of milk and some I ... read more

 

Casualties of Cooking

by maggiestiefvater@gmail.com (Maggie Stiefvater)
17 May 2006 at 6:12 pm
WARNING! THE FOLLOWING BLOG ENTRY CONTAINS GRAPHIC WORD-IMAGES AND MAY CAUSE VEGETARIANS TO VIOLENTLY PROJECTILE VOMIT ON THEIR KEYBOARDS WHERE THE ICKY BITS WILL BECOME LODGED BETWEEN THE ENTER AND BACKSLASH KEY FOR THE LIFE OF THE KEYBOARD.

Because I am such a wonderful housewife* (*see definition of irony below) I found myself in the kitchen today cooking the mind-blowingly delicious Cream of Ch ... read more

 

5 Reasons Why Pterodactyls Have More Fun

by maggiestiefvater@gmail.com (Maggie Stiefvater)
9 May 2006 at 8:59 am
Work in Progress, 11 x 14" on film

Five Reasons Why Pterodactyls Have More Fun

1. They’re a lizard. With wings. Need I say more? (http://www.paleodirect.com/ptero1.htm)
2. Though they’ve been extinct for 65 million years, they still vacation in Arizona and France. (http://answersincreation.org/argument/D74_creation_science.htm and http://www.users.bigpond.com/rdoolan/ptero.html)
3. Apparently they ... read more

 

Holy Hairball, Batman!

by maggiestiefvater@gmail.com (Maggie Stiefvater)
1 May 2006 at 8:33 pm
Well, now that it’s May Day, my mind is beginning to turn towards summer and my upcoming annual family vacation to Myrtle Beach. With that gentle meandering of my mind towards August comes additional images of white sand, rainbow-colored beach umbrellas, European tourists who don’t know any better wearing Speedos, Americans who should know better wearing Speedos, my black bikini languishing in ... read more

 

The Future is Drawing Near

by maggiestiefvater@gmail.com (Maggie Stiefvater)
25 Apr 2006 at 12:37 pm
"Easter Gift" available on eBay here.

It is well known that artists such as myself are highly sensitive people, and as such, are often psychically inclined (though we cannot always spell "psychically"). So today I have a special treat for you. Taking a momentary break from creating wondrous and sensitive pieces of art, I have peered into the near future and translated what I have seen into concise ... read more

 

Death in a Handful of Gear-Shifter

by maggiestiefvater@gmail.com (Maggie Stiefvater)
19 Apr 2006 at 10:01 pm
Yesterday, as I was driving in my spiffy little Suzuki at a speed that had the same number of digits as the posted speed limit, I was passed by an angry looking woman in a minivan. A minivan! In case any of you readers are not from this planet, a minivan is an amorphous automated blob that indicates high estrogen-levels in the driver (Now, before those of you with high-estrogen levels get annoyed ... read more